We spend most of our lives trying to feel better, be more comfortable and avoid scary things. Most of us don’t go out of our way to do something that creates fear.
Wouldn’t you agree?
The older we get and more control we have over our lives, the more this seems to be so.
Keep it simple and safe please.
We don’t like discomfort.
We don’t like negative emotions.
We don’t like fear.
But what if you really want to do something that’s scary? You know…the little voice that’s trying to push you forward.
I’m not talking about jumping out of a plane…even though I know that some of you might want to do that.
I’m talking about run-of-the-mill, good ol’ fashioned CHANGE.
Change can be scary.
Especially when you’re in midlife.
We midlife gals tend to go through a couple of decades where we crave stability.
I think it makes sense when you think about it.
Most of us have our children when we’re in our 20s and 30s. This can be a pretty hectic and sometimes chaotic time in our lives.
Stability in OTHER areas of our lives is welcomed.
What happens next?
With time, life becomes less hectic and less chaotic.
You have more time to NOTICE your feelings about your life.
You may not know why you feel what you feel, but you notice that you’re no longer content.
Can you relate?
Have you been thinking about wanting to make some kind of change?
How far do you let yourself think about doing the “scary thing?”
What pops into your head?
That you’re too old?
That it’s too risky?
That it just won’t work?
I would say that as soon as you get your thoughts around the “scary thing,” you feel fear and start thinking about why you shouldn’t do it.
It’s fast too.
This is because thoughts create feelings lickety-split.
It’s pretty common to start thinking this way about a career change, for example.
In midlife, it’s not unusual to be in a job or a long time, often more than 10 years. This isn’t as common in today’s working world, but if you’re in you’re in your late 40s or older, it’s quite possible that you’ve had the same job for a decade or more.
My clients tell me that a long-term job feels like a blessing and curse. They crave the stability, that’s for sure.
They feel stagnant.
They sense that there’s more “out there” for them, but they don’t know what it is or how to figure it out.
Even with these feelings, they often feel too afraid to change anything.
And then they feel stuck.
Stuck by fear.
Stuck by choosing to think thoughts that create fear.
The fear they feel isn’t always clear. They don’t know exactly why they are afraid.
Is it fear of change?
Is it fear of rejection?
Is it fear of being more vulnerable because of a new situation?
Without questioning yourself about WHY you think what you think, you run the risk of not changing anything, but for the wrong reasons.
Not because you actively decided NOT to change.
But rather, because you decided to let your fear call the shots.
Here are the top 3 reasons why you should push yourself to do something scary.
First, doing something scary is an opportunity to regret-proof an aspect of your life. One thing’s for sure; you will have regrets about having regrets. When you try, you know you tried. You know you put yourself out there. You know that you won’t regret NOT trying. When you know this about yourself, you will feel great.
Second, depriving yourself of a chance to feel proud of doing something hard is a shame. Pride is an amazing feeling. We don’t get to feel it that often either. So why not open yourself up to one of the best feelings life has to offer?
Third, doing scary things requires you to practice pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. When you do this, you will also practice bravery and courage. Just like anything else, the more we practice, the better we get. Being brave is essential to living an intentional life. Some need courage to go to a new exercise class alone. Other’s need courage to quit a boring job. “Scary” means different things to different people. Regardless, you can learn so much from yourself when you step it up and DO IT…whatever it is.
Feeling like you need more courage in your life? Maybe you’re in a midlife funk! Click here for surprisingly simple things you can do to bust out of your funk and be happier!