Vulva hygiene and other midlife humor

Who knew that vulva hygiene could be a source of midlife humor?

Well, on second thought, how could it NOT be?

Seriously ladies…life can get pretty funny.

Sometimes when you least expect it.

Like at the OB-GYN. Let’s face it…the whole experience at these appointments is usually not fun or funny.

The stress before.

The whole naked thing.

The awkward shimmy to “scoot down”.

And then just thinking about how close the doctor’s face is to you know what.

YIKES! It’s a wonder we manage to go to these appointments.

Men totally couldn’t handle it.

It’s really quite something from start to finish, right?

But wait….there’s more.

I thought the hilarity ended when I took the giant wad of paper from my “gown” and the examining table and used it to clean up the goop…but noooooooooooooooo.

I went to say goodbye and “check out,” at which point I was given a handout.

I double-took when I read it.

It just seemed so incredibly comical to me.


OK friends….

I’m not even sure why I thought this was so funny.  It’s just a body part.

It wouldn’t have been funny at all if it said, HYGIENE OF THE EYES, right?

  • Was it because vulva is a funny word, one that I’m pretty sure I’ve never uttered before?
  • Was it because I’m really not sure where my vulva is, even though I know it’s down there somewhere?
  • Was it because Jerry Seinfeld put the name “Mulva” in my head forever and I couldn’t help but make a humorous association?

I’m still not completely sure what was going on in my brain, but I can tell you that the hilarity didn’t stop there.

My husband and I were driving home from the appointment and he got on a teleconference, on the speaker in the car. He was put on hold to wait for the meeting to begin.

As I began to read some of the tips for excellent vulva hygiene out loud…I forgot that we were on speaker.

YES…this happened….

So now even more people know a few good vulva hygiene tips.

When I realized this, I quickly shut up and put the handout in my purse.

Several days later, when I went to reach into my purse for some business cards, guess what handy piece of information popped out as well?

I’m sure you would agree that EVERYONE I do business with should understand hygiene of the vulva.

WOW. Midlife can be downright painful.

You might be wondering what a few of these hygiene tips are. Well, it’s not my area of expertise, so I encourage you to Google the topic to get the full scoop.

However, since you know I love to write about the need for us midlife gals to ditch our bad, stretched out and gross underwear and replace them with new ones, I will share that one of the tips was to actually wear loose, white cotton underwear! Perhaps you might like to take that tip under advisement when you’re out shopping.

There you have it ladies. What can you learn from this little saga of mine?

First, when it comes to body parts, give some thought to where they are.

Second, think about what it’s like to not know where these body parts are. How does that make you feel to be this age and still not know some basic anatomy? Good thing it’s easy to look it up these days!

Want to meet more midlife gals going through the same stuff? Head on over to my Facebook Group, Regret-proofing 101. We’re all in this together!

And most of all….

Be kind to your vulva.

Show it a little lulva.









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