If growing is so hard, why bother putting in the effort? It wouldn’t surprise me if you asked yourself that question every once in awhile. Here are 4 amazing reasons to grow, even when you really have to push yourself.
When stuck just isn’t cutting it anymore.
And like I said, it’s really about pushing yourself forward, even though it’s hard.
You’re sick of feeling stuck.
You’ve felt stagnant for years.
You know in your heart of hearts that you haven’t been yourself.
You know something’s off.
And, quite frankly, you just can’t take it anymore.
You know you have to act.
Make a change.
Probably do something hard and scary.
So what do you do?
You resist it.
You don’t make a change.
You don’t do the scary thing.
The mind chatter comes back.
You know you can’t ignore it.
Even you know that you really do have to finally do it.
As I said before, you know you can’t take it.
And finally, you can’t ignore it any more.
You can’t distract yourself from it any more.
You can’t go unconscious about it any more.
We spend most of our lives trying to feel better, be more comfortable and avoid scary things. Most of us don’t go out of our way to do something that creates fear, especially at our age.
Wouldn’t you agree?
The older we get and more control we have over our lives, the more this seems to be so.
Keep it simple and safe please.
That’s the way I like it.
Nice and boring.
Nice and comfortable.
We don’t like discomfort.
We don’t like negative emotions.
We don’t like fear.
But what if you really want to do something that’s scary because you know you really have to change? You know…the little voice that’s trying to push you forward. Like a whisper that it really is time to grow.
What kind of change am I talking about? Good ol’ fashioned CHANGE. Nothing crazy.
Like whether or not you should leave a long-term job. Or move to a less expensive city. Or even make a serious commitment to finally losing that 30 lbs of baby weight now that your baby just left for college.
This kind of change.
Change by choice.
The thing is…
Change can be scary.
Especially when you’re a woman in midlife.
We midlife gals tend to go through a couple of decades where we crave stability.
Have you been thinking about wanting to make some kind of change?
How far do you let yourself go when you think about doing the “scary thing that you have to do to enjoy the reward? The change?
What wishful scary thing pops into your head?
The change you wish you were ready to make?
Now let’s look at it more closely.
The reason you’re not yet doing it is because of something you’re thinking.
It’s a thought. It always is, right?
All you have to do to see what you’re thinking is to look at your results.
Even though you want to do something, there’s a reason you’re not doing it yet and it’s because of what’s going on up there in your mind.
There’s actually another thought is popping in and creating your feeling, and that’s what’s driving your behavior.
If you’re not making the change you want, you must be thinking something other than how much you want to make that change.
The new thought that’s stealing the show is creating something other than motivation.
And this feeling that the thought is creating is certainly not doing the job of helping you grow..
You are well aware of the common thoughts at a time like this. I like to call them dream squishers.
That you’re too old.
That it’s too risky.
That it just won’t work.
You’re not ready.
It’s too hard.
You might make a mistake.
I would say that as soon as you get clear on your thoughts around making the change,” you will notice that you start to feel fear and you will weigh all of the reasons you shouldn’t bother doing it. You will begin to justify your thoughts about it being too hard.
Your new thought is something that creates fear, doubt or hesitation. It will feel real. It won’t feel like a thought.
It’s super fast too.
This is because thoughts create feelings lickety-split. You probably don’t even notice it.
My clients tell me that a long-term job feels like a blessing and curse.
Stability and income are the blessing. But the curse is what I like to call career malaise, which is the perfect way to describe this feeling of being “off” but not being sure why. There is this sense of discomfort with an employment situation that used to be quite comfortable and enjoyable.
They feel stagnant.
They sense that there’s more “out there” for them, but they don’t know what it is or how to figure it out.
But…even with these feelings, they often feel too afraid to change anything.
And then they feel stuck.
Stuck by fear.
Stuck by choosing to think thoughts that create fear.
Stuck by the notion that the discomfort they will feel with a big change is worse than the discomfort they feel now, while frustrated at work.
The fear they feel isn’t always clear. They don’t know exactly why they are afraid. It’s murky.
What could it be?
Is it fear of change?
Is it fear of rejection?
Is it fear of what they think people will think if they change? Or if they fail?
Is it fear of being more vulnerable because of a new situation?
Without questioning yourself about WHY you think what you think, you run the risk of not changing anything, but for the wrong reasons.
Not because you actively decided NOT to change.
But rather, because you decided to let your fear call the shots.
So interesting, right?
I’m not arguing with you that growth can be hard.
But it’s highly possible that if you just let things ride, you will just stagnate your life away.
Are you thinking about if it’s grow time for yourself?
Here are the 3 amazing reasons why you should push yourself to embrace grow time, even if you have to do something scary or hard/
First, because regret-proofing is important. Declaring it’s grow time and doing something scary is an opportunity to regret-proof an aspect of your life. One thing’s for sure; you will have regrets about having regrets. When you try, you know you tried. You know you put yourself out there. You know that you won’t regret NOT trying. When you know this about yourself, you will feel great.
Second, feeling pride feels amazing. Depriving yourself of a chance to feel proud of doing some hard thing that you want to do is a shame. Pride is an awesome feeling. We don’t get to feel it that often either. So why not open yourself up to one of the best feelings life has to offer?
Third, you build confidence and courage when you push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Doing a scary hard thing requires you to practice challenging yourself and your beliefs about your capabilities. When you do this, you see what you’re really thinking and can ask yourself why. Just like anything else, the more we have awareness and practice understanding, the better we get. Being brave is essential to living an intentional life. Some people need courage to go to a new exercise class alone. Other’s need courage to quit a boring job. “Scary” and “hard” mean different things to different people. Regardless, you can learn so much from yourself when you step it up, seek to understand and DO IT…whatever it is because you want to.
It’s you pushing yourself, because it’s important to you. It’s you having your own back. It’s you being a role model to your kids. It’s you being a bad ass and going after your dreams. It’s you being much more intentional about your life.
What all of this illustrates is that as humans, we have the unique ability to manage our minds. We use our brains this way, on purpose. It’s a human thing and it’s a privilege. It will be hard. You will have to be courageous. But when it’s grow time, you gotta grow.
You can use the self-coaching tools discussed in this blog and in my podcast, which will help you to become aware of your thinking and understand that thoughts are optional. The bottom line is that you can work on your mind to support yourself in continuing to move toward your goal.
Want more information? Head over to my website at www.suzyrosenstein.com. It’s chock full of lots of amazing free stuff! Download your free eBook, 10 Surprisingly Simple Ways You Can Out of Your Midlife Funk!