Friends, I just can’t believe I’m a midlife gal who’s over 50. It’s mind-boggling to me.
Sometimes I forget how old I am. I can’t remember if I’m 52 or 53. It takes me a minute. Then, when I remember, I’m floored that I’m this old.
I suppose it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise.
I mean, when I look around, I see three amazing kids and a loving husband. The kids are really young adults, 18 – 21 years old. You’d think that their age would be a bit of a reminder about how old I actually am. But somehow, there’s a disconnect.
I’ve had lots of amazing experiences in my life.
I’ve taken phenomenal vacations.
I have an awesome postgraduate education.
Before my lay off, I had worked for one employer for 19 years.
I’ve been married for almost 23 years.
Next year, all three kids will be at university.
There is clearly a lot of evidence that I’ve been around for more than a couple of decades. Yet…I’m still surprised when I think about how old I am.
How could this be? I like to think I don’t walk around completely out of it on a regular basis.
But sometimes, I find myself struggling to remember my exact age…and have to count it out. Really.
I’ve been thinking about this.
I actually love being my age. I’m not hung up on it.
Menopause has been super kind to me. Other than a few angry blips at the beginning and a bit of weight gain, I’m sailing through and loving life without worrying about my period.
Thankfully, my health has also been pretty good. Of course, I do seem to break my share of toes and a surprise, emergency gall bladder operation 10 years ago threw me for a loop…but overall, I’m pretty, pretty, pretty good.
But I do have thoughts about what being this age means…that I’ve been thinking for years! I think it’s that I would “act” older somehow. And there’s something about that thought that creates this mind-boggling disbelief about how old I am.
So what’s going on?
As much as I’ve been through in my life, I still feel like a kid at heart.
This thought, “I still feel like a kid at heart” makes me feel young.
And, I have to tell you, I’ve been through a lot of shit. Lots of amazing stuff too. But I’ve seen more than my share of the good, the bad and the ugly.
Through it all though, I learned to be quite resilient.
I excel at coping.
I have a damn good sense of humor.
And I believe the glass is half full.
Now, gentle reader, I’m not a “rainbows and unicorns” type of gal. I got the “life’s not fair” memo long ago. But somehow, through it all, I really do believe in my core that life is good.
In my mind, even though life’s not always fair, the glass is more full than not full.
The more you live, the more you see the bad stuff. And when you expect life to be fair, it can be a real struggle to continue to be genuinely positive.
While I struggle with difficulties too, I don’t struggle with the concept that life should be fair. Or that good behavior will be rewarded with fairness. That isn’t a thought of mine.
Overall, I’m a positive person and there’s rarely a day that I wake up miserable.
It happens, of course, but it’s not the norm.
I think this thought helps me in life.
It may also contribute to why I don’t feel my age. But…I’m not sure it’s the main reason.
I definitely don’t feel 50.
I still feel immature at times and laugh at America’s Funniest Videos.
When people fall down…or off a boat…and walk into something….
I’m not proud of it, but I do.
In fact, many of the things I found funny when I was a kid still amuse me.
That episode of the Brady Bunch, when they’re in Hawaii and Peter realizes there’s a tarantula on his chest, completely cracks me up. Every time. And yes…I’ve seen it many times.
Do people over 50 do that?
I live in a house full of male energy. There are fart jokes daily. Puns-o-plenty. And also plenty of commentary on body parts and smells. What can I say? I find much of that funny too.
Except at the dinner table, that is. I try my hardest to draw that line…with mixed success.
While there is plenty of evidence that I’m older and wiser, there’s also evidence that my thinking is keeping me young.
I like that I think the thought, “I don’t feel 50.”
I am choosing to think that. I absolutely love how I feel when I think that. It’s so empowering. Thoughts are optional. THIS is the thought that is behind my feelings of disbelief about my age. I think “I don’t feel 50” all the time. I clearly have ideas about what 50 is “supposed” to feel like and I DON’T FEEL THAT WAY!
Crazy, right? When I think, “I don’t feel 50,” it creates feelings and an ultimate outcome that proves my thought that I don’t feel 50!
The lesson for you? Make sure you’re making a choice that creates the feeling you want to feel in your life. About aging…about EVERYTHING!
Remember, we can get better at supervising our thoughts, one thought at a time.