I had a particularly interesting chat last night with a friend about the frenzied 40s and midlife moms.
She told me how much she liked my midlife blog and identified with how uncomfortably busy life can get in your 40s, when your kids are often still in school and your expenses are still high. And how she and her friends don’t like the crazy, frenzied pace one bit.
I remember feeling this way too – like I was just way too busy and at risk of “cracking.” Actually, I remember feeling like this a couple of times in my 40s.
That’s what my midlife transition looked like in my world…frazzled spin.
The first time I really noticed it was after a horrible trio of events took place, that included a death, a flood and a move. Totally put me over the edge. Fortunately, I was able to take an unpaid leave at work, which really helped me stabilize and find myself again.
Soon after returning to work, however, the extremely busy pace of the life I had created revved up again and before I knew it, I was once again feeling that hectic rushed feeling on a daily basis. Between the commute, shopping, meal prep, kids’ activities, home life, etc., there really wasn’t much time for anything else.
I realized something had to change one day when my son asked me for a mango. We had been watching the ripeness of the mangos in our fruit bowl for a few days. I told him to pick another fruit. Sadly, I actually felt too busy to peel and cut up a mango for him.
That floored me.
My kid actually wanted a piece of fruit and my thinking was that I was too busy to get it for him.
Something had to change.
What is your thinking telling you these days? Are you feeling like your life has a mind of its own? That you’re on crazy, harried auto pilot with little time to breathe between going from thing to thing?
Are you too busy to exercise?
Too stressed to read a story to your son or daughter at bedtime?
Too broke to take a vacation?
Too disorganized to cook dinner?
Too financially strapped to do anything fun?
These ideas are all thoughts. Even though we let them drive us and guide many decisions, they are not facts. We believe them to be completely true. But truth really be told, they are simply sentences in our mind and can be changed.
They can be changed.
But how, you might be wondering?
Well, it all starts with your thinking. Let’s take thought that you’re too busy to exercise.
I’m not suggesting that you’re not busy. Don’t get me wrong and stop reading this second. I’m sure you really are and you probably have way too much on your plate. But, the question is, are you too busy to do things you really want to do? That is, if you really want to exercise, could you find time?
You make decisions every day about how you spend your time, that is, prioritize your time. Consider how you feel when you think that you’re too busy to exercise. Stressed, hectic, sad, sorry for yourself, victimized by your schedule? Highly unlikely you will exercise at all when you feel this way.
If you changed your thought to something like, “I’m proud of the way that I manage to find a bit of time to exercise, even with my schedule.” How do you feel when you think that thought? My guess is that you feel lighter, positive and happy about your accomplishment. When you feel this way, you are much more likely to find time to do it. Very different outcome because the thought produces a different feeling.
Results in your life prove your thoughts.
Squeezing in even a bit of exercise proves the thought that you’re managing to find a bit of time to exercise, even though you’re super busy. I’m sure there’s lots of evidence in your life showing that when you prioritize things, you somehow get them done.
Thoughts are so powerful and create the outcomes in our lives. Midlife transitions can be challenging for sure. It’s such an interesting time of our lives with a zillion competing demands. Some would argue that it’s one of the most stressful times of our lives. Managing how we think about what’s going on though is the key to navigating our way around a midlife crisis…so we embrace the opportunities as well. And there are many opportunities just waiting to be found!
I love helping you sort through all of this in my life coaching practice, where there trials and tribulations of midlife are front and center.
Download my free Dream Igniter and get started thinking about everything with fresh perspective. Feeling stuck and overwhelmed doesn’t have to be a permanent part of your life. I’m here to help! And I work on the phone, so there’s no more pressure and stress around travel time and a great parking spot. Looking forward to talking to you.