Ep #12: How Your Expectations of Others Are Making You Suffer

Do you have secret rules for how people should behave in your life?

One of the biggest things that comes up in coaching over and over again is the expectations we have for other people – in other words, what we think other people should do.

People can seem like problems when we think like this.  This is because we created “manuals” or rules for them and how we want them to behave and also how we will feel if they don’t do what we expect. These invisible, made up books of instructions and rules that we have for others are often a huge source of pain, not only for women in the middle, but everyone.

On this episode, I explain why having expectations for people is a huge source of pain and suffering in your life without your knowledge. It often feels like frustration, but it can be much more than that.

I also talk about the reasons why it’s so difficult to let go of these expectations and share some effective tips to help you rewrite your “manuals” in the way that serves you and allow you to move forward to happiness, freedom and acceptance. I think you’ll agree that the coaching tool called “The Manual” is one that you’ll refer to often.

Note: The “manual” concept and tool originally comes from the teachings of Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School, where I trained.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What it means to have a “manual” for someone else.
  • The most common expectations we have of other people.
  • The detrimental effects of giving others the power to determine how you feel or act.
  • How you can apply The Model to coach yourself through your issues related to having expectations of others.
  • How to make requests or negotiate something when it needs to get done.
  • Tips to help you move from the negative emotions caused by your “manuals” to happiness and freedom.

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About The Author

Suzy Rosenstein

Suzy Rosenstein has been honing her laser sharp questioning and listening skills professionally for over 25 years. She coaches working women get out of their midlife funk so that they can be happier and regret-proof their lives! Enter your email today on her website for some quick tips and weekly insights about aging with mindfulness and humor: www.suzyrosenstein.com/midlifefunk