When you’re caught up in a midlife spin, you probably feel like you have a ton of thoughts swirling around up there. Sounds like a classic thought-loop. If you’re feeling stuck, thought-loops like this are a likely culprit.
There are all kinds of reasons that you spin and feel stuck. Let’s take a look at what’s really going on here.
You might be surprised that the bottom line reason is your thoughts.
- It’s not him.
- It’s not her.
- It’s not an external circumstance.
It’s the way you’re thinking about something in your life.
There’s a factual part of your circumstance.
You might actually think that your thoughts are the facts here, but they’re not. Understanding the real “fact” can be challenging. But you can do it for sure.
It’s fun to really understand what the fact or facts are.
Ask yourself what is black and white about the situation. What would 10 people in a room all agree on?
This is usually different than the way you’re thinking about all of this. This is a great place to start when you notice you’re spinning around in a thought loop.
So I caught myself in a midlife spin this week.
For me, I could see that I was feeling overwhelmed and confused. I think mostly confused actually.
So what was I thinking that’s caused me to feel this way?
It turned out that it wasn’t a complex thought.
It’s a good ol’ standby thought: “I don’t know what to do.”
It makes me feel confused.
When I feel confused, I tend to “lean out” rather than “lean in”. Do you notice this too?
So what do you think happens next?
I stay confused. Totally proving my thinking that I don’t know what to do.
Just supporting the original thinking.
And as long as I’m feeling confused, I will stay in in a funky spin.
What shook me out of it was a baby step.
Baby steps are often effective. They work wonders.
Here’s what’s going on:
So…If i’m able to take a baby step, you KNOW i’m feeling something other than confused.
What could it be?
I feel clear.
And…if I’m feeling clear, you KNOW I’m thinking something other than “I don’t know what to do.”
My new thought is “I’m learning to figure it out, one step at a time.”
That thought’s useful for me to take that baby step.
When I lean in and take a bit of action, I prove to myself that I really am learning to figure things out.
There it is. My outcome or result actually does support my thought.
I guess the thing to really get your head around is that the way you’re currently thinking about whatever is keeping you stuck, anxious, confused, etc.
Not the thing or person.
Whatever happened here or what was said isn’t the problem even though if feels like it.
It’s the way you’re choosing to think about it.
This can be hard to understand when it comes to what’s bugging you…what’s keeping you stuck.
A lot of the time, it’s about not knowing what to do with this next phase of your life.
This can put you in a lovely spin.
Personally, I was stuck in this thought loop spin for about 5 years. Fun times!
The “Thought Model” I teach can really help you see what’s going on and how to move forward. It’s an amazing framework taught at The Life Coach School that helps you with the perspective you’re missing.
So great to know that you can learn to have the skills to think it all through!
Remember to think on purpose, especially in midlife.
This is really the action you can take to be free and intentional in your life.!
I’m here for you if you need more help getting this kind of perspective on your brain and this kind of freedom and joy in your life!
Grab this FREE download, Get Unstuck in Midlife Podcast Bundle.