Just checking in…
I know you probably made some shiny New Year’s Resolutions this year.
Were they about a new job?
How are they working for you? Just thought I’d ask. I really hope you’ve made the changes you wanted to make.
Somehow, I doubt it.
It’s quite possible I’m wrong. It is still January afterall.
I wanted to make a change this year. My goal was to have more systems in place to make my life easier. The big part of that plan was a grocery shopping schedule. You’re probably thinking, “sheesh, that’s way easier than my resolution was.”
It may well be.
To you, that is.
The thing about resolutions is that the success or failure of the commitment is directly related to your thoughts about it. Why? Because our thinking creates feelings. And feelings create actions/behaviour. That, of course, creates the results in our lives.
For me, writing down the actual date and time that I will do the task of grocery shopping means loss of flexibility. Flexibility is the most important thing to me. This thought was negative. I didn’t do the work I needed to do to ensure success.
First, I need to change my thought about grocery shopping. A thought like, “Grocery shopping on Mondays at 9:00 am will make my life easier” is a MUCH better thought for me than “I’m boxed in to a schedule when I shop for groceries the same time each week.”
Having a thought about making my life easier makes me feel light and hopeful. Downright happy. Perhaps even…giddy!
Whereas having a thought about being boxed in makes me feel resistant and uncomfortable.
Very different feelings. Very different outcomes.
Like the new year, midlife transition is a time full of change. Whether you’re in your 40s or 50s, it doesn’t really matter. It’s a time of change. Notice I didn’t say negative change. I really believe it’s the time in our life with the most potential. The most freedom. The most personal development.
But what about making a commitment to yourself to change? Do you think that can be done successfully if the thought work isn’t solid?
I doubt it.
No matter how hard you try, the problematic thought will sneak back in and create feelings that don’t serve you in anyway. But the exceptionally good news is that you can change your thoughts. They are under your control. They are just sentences in your mind. Once you get better at noticing them, you also get better and understanding them, getting new perspective and substituting them with thoughts that give you the result that you want.
So there it is. Simple yet difficult.
This is an example of the sort of thing we might talk about in my coaching practice. A resolution is really only a commitment to change something in your life that isn’t going the way you want it to. We all have things we want to change. I’d love to talk to you more about this. Message me for a free mini-session if you would like some help. You’re not alone.
And guess what? Good news!
It’s never too late for a New Year’s Resolution. Don’t give up on your commitment to yourself! Simply work on your thought and try again. The timeline is yours.
Sign up for my awesome freebie and get started on regret proofing your life!